Why doesn’t everyone have soulmate

Why doesn’t God give people soulmates?

Matthew 22:30 – no marriage in heaven? why doesn’t Jahveh do it like in Islam? Why would God take away something that he created? I don’t believe GodQuestions.

Ideally, all people should be in pairs of male or female.

What if every boy was born with a twin sister and married to her from birth? All births of male-female twins? Or at least, what would be so wrong with being married from birth? Edit: On second thought, not married from birth, not married until adolescence or adulthood, but why couldn’t two soulmates be betrothed from birth, that the moment they are born, they are promised to be married when they grow up?

What would be so wrong with romantic kissing without marriage in heaven? Aren’t there some of god’s rules that only apply to Earth? Couldn’t some rules be different in heaven?

The reason why sex outside of marriage is forbidden is most likely because if it was allowed, it would disincentivize people from getting married. It would also lead to children born outside the wedlock. Would that be an issue in heaven, where no one gets lost and there’s full order? But pornography doesn’t lead to unwanted pregnancies, but it disincentivizes people from getting married and propogating the race. God gives sexual desire to incentivize people to get married and it’s all about offspring.

Couldn’t God assign marriage partners in heaven, like assigning college roommates and considering Hall’s marriage theorem?

Eros and agape are opposite sides of the same coin. Eros and agape are yin and yang respectively. Physical and spiritual are equal sides of a coin and are yin and yang respectively.

Couldn’t everyone have an opposite-gender twin, not necessarily a sister in biological terms, but a twin flame and soulmate?

If a girl breaks up with her boyfriend and cuts off all communications with him and blocks him on Facebook and blocks his cell, I’m sure they should be reunited as a couple in heaven. Just because she’s done with him on Earth doesn’t mean in heaven.

9 Comments

  1. You asked me to comment on this post. I’ll just copy here what I said to you over on my blog:

    You raise a lot of issues and questions in that post. I agree with some of where you’re going with it, and disagree with other parts. Was there something in particular you wanted to discuss?

    About your last paragraph, usually if a girl cuts off communication with her boyfriend, that means she doesn’t want to be with him anymore. And usually there are reasons for that. If it’s not working for her on earth, it’s probably not going to work for her in the spiritual world either. And unlike on earth, in the spiritual world no one is pushed into a relationship they don’t want to be in.

    If your girlfriend breaks up with you, it’s best to move forward and leave that relationship in the past.

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      1. That’s a complicated one. But if people are getting married just so that they can have sex, that’s not a good basis for a marriage.

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      1. I don’t think people are married from birth, because you have to be an adult to be married. At birth, we’re still in the process of becoming adult human beings. However, I do think that people can be born for each other.

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  2. WorldQuestioner,

    Since you linked this on my website, I will comment both there and here.

    Regarding your question about God giving everyone a soulmate. I would answer this that things are far more complicated than this. The idea of a “soulmate” would seem to be someone who matches and complements you perfectly. This is a high ideal, but I do not think it is impossible. However, I would say that it is not just being given a soulmate, but it is being someone else’s soulmate yourself, and then having another person be a soulmate to you. A soulmate is never going to be something that happens automatically. It is going to be something that people grow into over time with effort, care, and most of all agape-type love. The desire would be for everyone to grow to become someone’s soulmate and someone else grow to become his. But there is more to it than just being handed it.

    As far as why doesn’t everyone have a soulmate, this is easily answered. Everyone does not have a soulmate partially because there are many people who are personally incapable of being a soulmate to anyone else. People who are selfish and self-centered are incapable of being a soulmate to another person. To be a soulmate, one has to be a loving, giving, other-oriented type of person. A person who is selfish and self-centered is going to consider a “soulmate” someone who fulfills all his selfish desires. He is going to have no concern at all as to whether or not he fulfills hers. If he did receive the “soulmate” he selfishly desired, she would certainly be cheated because she did not receive a soulmate at all. So selfishness makes it impossible for everyone to have a soulmate, since it makes many people incapable of ever being a soulmate. The lack of soulmates is greatly exacerbated by sin in the world. Only by love overcoming sin and selfishness can anyone be a soulmate to someone else in this world. In a sinless, unfallen world, soulmates would be much more common and easily attained.

    I have already answered in my post the idea of no marriage in the life to come. I believe there will be marriage in the resurrection. God said that it was not good for man to be alone, and I think that will be equally true with resurrected man. There will be marriage then.

    I agree that ideally all people should be in pairs of male and female.

    The idea of every boy being born with a twin sister and them being destined to be married from birth is an interesting one. It would require a sinless environment with no genetic defects to make marriages of close relatives deleterious. Yet this idea does not seem to be the way God set it up. Everyone is not born with a twin, and I see no indication in the Bible that this was ever the way it was or ever the way God intended it to be. The first twins we see in the Bible are two boys. If God wanted it this way, then no doubt everyone would be a twin with someone of the opposite gender. Since that is not the case, that is clearly not the plan. Also, while it seems romantic in an odd way, the idea of being literally born to be married to one, certain person, that would not automatically make that person your “soulmate.” Some twins are very close, and some are not close at all. Just being a twin doesn’t make you a soulmate.

    Romantic kissing without marriage does seem “wrong” to me. A kiss of friendship or greeting, a “holy kiss” like the Scriptures talk about, would seem to be appropriate without marriage, though we don’t tend to do that in our society other than with relatives. Some cultures do, and there is nothing wrong with that. Yet the point of a romantic kiss is sexual attraction, and sexual attraction without marriage and sex to fulfill it would seem about the same as hunger without food to fulfill it. Why would God give a desire that was incapable of being fulfilled? This makes no sense. I believe that there will be both marriage and romantic kissing in resurrection life. But marriage was meant to make two one. That would still be true of marriage in the resurrection. There is no reason for rules to be different. The rules are good and right, and will remain so.

    I disagree that sex and marriage are all about offspring. Yes, offspring are a big part of it, but if you go back to why God gave us marriage in the first place, it was about partnership, not about offspring. There could be offspring without marriage. God could have made Adam to self-propagate, like some (generally lower order) animals do. Yet God wanted man to have a fitting partner. That was what marriage was created for, and really what it is “all about.” Offspring is an important sidelight to that, but it was not the main reason for it.

    God could certainly assign marriage partners, though I would not liken it to college roommates, since there is no lifetime commitment in college roommates like there is supposed to be with marriage! God chose a wife for Adam and for Isaac. He could certainly do the same for everyone in the resurrection.

    Eros and agape are both essential elements in a marriage, but they are certainly not two sides of the same coin. We are called on to have agape love for one another, but we are certainly not called on to have eros for one another. God showed agape love for us on the cross, but He did not show eros for us. God loves us all with agape love, but not with eros love. These two things are not two sides of the same coin. They are not even two sides of the same coin in marriage. Eros can and often does happen without any agape at all. Agape can and does often happen without any eros at all. Both ought to be present in a marriage for the marriage to be healthy and functioning. But since agape love is greater than faith and hope, it is obviously far superior to eros, which is not at all superior to faith and hope.

    Yin and yang are concepts in eastern “spirituality,” and are not Biblical concepts at all. The Bible knows of no yin and yang. Neither eros and agape nor physical and spiritual are yin and yang. Yin and yang assume the equivalency of good and evil. The Bible presents God as all good, and evil as rebellion against Him and His laws. Evil is always opposed to good, and is far, far inferior to it. Evil is worthless. Good is of inestimable value, being a characteristic of God. If a person is largely evil but still retains small portions of good, then that good is the only value in him. The evil in him has no value at all. There is no yin and yang.

    Since everyone obviously doesn’t have an opposite gender twin, and even those who do are seldom if ever twin flames and soulmates, then the answer to this question is clearly no, they cannot.

    One of the sad outcomes of our system of choosing marriage partners is this matter of relationships ending in breakups. We were made to have partners and be partners, but we were not made for breaking up. Breaking up is painful, and can be devastating. That said, it is something that is necessary when a couple is mismatched, or else when one or both of a couple is unready for commitment and marriage, at least to each other. If a girl breaks up with her boyfriend and cuts off all communication with him, then that relationship is over for this life. While it would be hoped that both are believers and, if so, they will be reunited and have a relationship as brother and sister restored in resurrection life, yet that is a far cry from saying they will be restored as a couple in the resurrection.

    The whole point of Christ’s argument with the Sadducees is that they were assuming that God is bound by our marriage relationships. He is helpless before our decisions, and must abide by them, no matter what. This in spite of the fact that the Sadducees and the religious leaders in general well knew and recognized the ability of human beings to get divorced. So humans could end their marital relationships, but God cannot! This is a weak and ridiculous picture of God. Of course God can end marital relationships that men have set up. Well, if this is true of marital relationships, of course it is true of dating relationships. If I was in a loving relationship with a woman and, as far as I could tell, heading toward marriage with her, and then she died, I might have good cause to suppose that God might someday, when we are both raised from the dead, restore the relationship that never had the chance to reach its desired end. On the other hand, if a girl in a final and decided manner ended a relationship, I have no particular reason to suppose that God would bring that relationship back in the resurrection. As hurtful as it might be to the rejected young man after it happens, there is a very good chance that both she and he will move on, find another person, and form a new relationship. Are these new relationships to be destroyed in the resurrection in order for the aborted dating relationship to be preferred?

    Ultimately, relationships in the life to come will be completely under God’s control. He will not be obligated by any of the choices or arrangements we made at all. He will be able to do as He chooses. He could restore any relationship a person had, or He could not restore any of them and create a completely new one with a person you had never met before. It is all up to Him. That is the point of my article about marriage in the resurrection. That is all up to God. He is not bound by any of our decisions. Certainly he is not bound by a couple’s decision to date, a decision that one of them later reverses.

    I am sorry if you have had a relationship break up in a heartrending manner. All I can say is that, if you are a believer, you should trust God to have better things for you in the future, in His good time. Trust in Him. Meanwhile, work on becoming the kind of person who is capable of being a soulmate to a nice, Godly woman of good character and high moral values. You need to be able to be a soulmate in order to find one.

    I pray this is helpful.

    Nathan

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